Why Am I So Hard on Myself
Understanding the Inner Critic

Many people who seek therapy are not only struggling with anxiety, stress, or low mood — they are also carrying an ongoing internal voice that is relentlessly self-critical.

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It may sound like:

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• “I should be coping better.”

• “I’m too sensitive.”

• “I always get things wrong.”

• “I’m failing.”

• “Other people seem to manage life better than I do.”

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Over time, this inner criticism can become so familiar that it starts to feel like truth rather than a learned way of relating to yourself.

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Often, self-criticism develops for understandable reasons. Some people grew up in environments where achievement, responsibility, or emotional suppression were highly valued. Others learned early on to become hyper-aware of other people’s needs, moods, or expectations in order to feel accepted, safe, or “good enough.”

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The difficulty is that while self-criticism may once have functioned as a form of protection, motivation, or self-monitoring, it can eventually leave people feeling exhausted, anxious, emotionally stuck, or disconnected from themselves.

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Many people assume being hard on themselves is simply part of their personality. In therapy, we often begin exploring where these patterns came from, how they continue in the present, and what it might mean to develop a more compassionate and balanced relationship with yourself.

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Self-compassion is not about avoiding responsibility or “letting yourself off the hook.” Often, it is about learning to respond to yourself with the same understanding, patience, and humanity that you would naturally offer to somebody else.

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I offer integrative counselling and psychotherapy, drawing from CBT, Gestalt, and psychodynamic approaches. Therapy can help you better understand self-critical patterns, emotional overwhelm, relationship dynamics, and the deeper experiences that may sit underneath them.

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I offer counselling and psychotherapy face-to-face in Malvern and online across the UK.